A Response to Rape Culture, part 4 of 5

Click here for part 3.

In this part of the series, I’ll be making a point-by-point break down of rape culture as it’s explained on the Rational Wiki website. Because of the reputation of this site, we may assume it has less bias, and because it can be edited by multiple people based on an open forum discussion of the facts, we can assume that it reflects a consensus view of the subject. It also presents practical examples, and not just abstract postulations with an appeal to rhetoric.

It’s also the most credible and academic source on the subject I could find, since, as it’s probably clear by now, rape culture is not an actual thing, and therefore isn’t treated seriously by most accredited academic sources.

Because the site has been edited in recent months, I’ll be presenting both current statements and previous statements, for the reason that I believe some of the previous statements actually present a better case, and I want to include both to provide a fuller discussion on the matter. I’ll be marking them as old or new accordingly (though keep in mind that as more and more refutations of rape culture become available, the site will of course keep changing in apologetic fashion, as the editors are almost certainly devotees of the Third Wave religion).

To begin with, “rape culture” is being defined as:

A culture [that includes] the ways in which a society trivializes, rationalizes, or even condones rape and other acts of sexual violence. Rape culture includes a variety of issues from the way raped individuals are treated by police to the way rape is portrayed in fiction and by the media.

This is the definition that we will reference for this discussion.

An older post:

—– —–
Forms of rape that don’t conform to a (in itself deeply offensive and sexist) specific set of standards aren’t as important as those that do. That is, if the raped doesn’t involve a male stranger(s) on younger female victim penile-vaginal penetration with a large degree of force, then it’s not “real rape” and can be downplayed or apologized for as necessary.
—– —–

^^^ We have first, second, and third degree murder. There’s even “conspiracy to commit” murder, where someone didn’t actually commit murder but was planning to. Pre-meditated murder is different than murder that happens as a result of a scuffle.

All murder is bad, but not all murder is equal.

Same goes with theft. If I steal a bicycle, it’s not the same as if I steal a Mercedes.

This is why we have levels of severity in concern with rape. There may be two teens in the back of a car making out, having penetrative sex, then half way through one of them changes their mind. Compare that to someone who smashes a car window, drags a person into a back alley, and rapes at knife point.

It isn’t true that the former is considered “not real rape”. This sounds like a misrepresentation of the issue. If anyone ever said this, it would be a matter of the individual not being educated. No one thinks rape is ever okay, but we do acknowledge levels and severity in most any crime.

A newer post:

—– —–
Victims are defined and unofficially classified based on how well they conform to a (deeply offensive and sexist) specific set of standards. Standards which are almost always based on assumptions about women’s value in general. A white virgin who has been beaten is a more proper victim than a Hispanic co-ed who has a boyfriend. Being raped by a stranger, vaginally, is taken more seriously than being a male victim. The more “real” a rape is, largely informs how the investigators and litigators will deal with a case.
—– —–

^^^ First, I want to point out the citation to this statement is taken from an article on Jezebel. The article is essentially a blog rant on something Whoopi Goldburg said on The View, and is not written by a legal analyst or judicial expert, but by a blogger.

That blogger’s profile can be seen here: http://jezebel.com/5323683/lindsayrobertsonisthenicestbloggerinallofnewyork – her credentials include “what some would call a pop culture junkie, and, as my headline alleges, she is also literally one of the nicest, most down to earth people I know.”

Honestly, if this is what you have to resort to for a reference, it’s better if you use no reference at all.

Second, “Victims are defined” – by who?

“A specific set of standards” – whose standards?

“Standards which are based on assumptions about a woman’s value” – in court, the victims claims are weighed against the evidence. Miscarriages of justice do happen, but they happen with all sorts of crimes, and do not constitute a culture. If your claim is that it is specifically Hispanic women and black women that aren’t treated as fairly as white women, this is racial behavior / racial profiling, and would apply to any case, whether it was about rape or something else.

Also refer back to the need to ascertain “degrees” of rape. This doesn’t mean rape “isn’t taken seriously”.

An older post:

—– —–
Related to the above, very naked and hateful blaming of the victim if the victim was shown to be “out of line” at any point. Once the well is poisoned, rape can be pushed into the gray area before denied entirely. Even if rape victim actually does meet the maximum standards for sympathy, the implication is that the rapist’s transgressions against traditional values and polite society was more important than the actual violence done to the victim.
—– —–

The problem with “blaming of the victim” is that this is often defined as any statement or behavior that does not assume the unquestioned guilt of the accused. Actual blaming involves not only what is said, but how it’s said, and the situation in which it’s said. Here’s a helpful chart.

Examples of What Is and Isn’t Victim Blaming

Event Not Blaming (Usually happens before) Blaming (Usually happens after)
Drunk Driving Do not drink and drive. It’s dangerous, and you shouldn’t do it. Friends don’t let friends drive drunk. You got behind the wheel while you were drunk???   Why did you do that??!! You’re lucky all you broke was your face!!!
Deleting An Important File You should always back up your work on a disk drive. See! You wouldn’t have lost your work if you had just backed it up!!!
Losing your wallet in the park Don’t leave your wallet where other people can take it, then walk away. God you’re dumb… you wouldn’t lose your things if you didn’t leave them laying around!
Unknowingly Helping Lex Luthor You shouldn’t trust Lex Luthor. He did steal 40 pies. Seriously why on earth would you trust him? How many times have I told you??? He stole 40 pies!!!
Getting yo ass whooped by the police If you’re black, do not drive through Ferguson Missouri. It’s generally a bad idea. Now you’re paraplegic, and I know why! Cuz you’re a black guy, cuz you’re a black guy, cuzyou’re a black guy… la da da da da da…
Taking Drugs Drugs can seriously be dangerous if you’re not watching out for the proper dose. Also… can I have some? See, you wouldn’t be in the hospital right now if you had only watched out for how much you were taking. Also… is there any left?
Rape

I just made jokes about race, police brutality, and drug overdosing while refuting rape culture.  Somewhere in the world, a Third Waver’s head has just exploded.

Levity aside, I left the one about rape blank.  Give it some thought.  It’s definitely wrong to come down on someone after the fact, and make it sound like they’re the ones at fault. That’s of course extremely wrong. But if I told a man not to go out in the middle of the night in Harlem, at 2 in the morning, because there has been recent gang activity in that part of town, and that he shouldn’t walk down a dark alley because he might get shot, stabbed, and have his shoes, coat, and his hat taken, is that blaming him?… or is that trying to warn him?

If he goes out anyway, and later I’m in the back of an ambulance with him and we’re rushing to the hospital, should I… I don’t know… use this as a time to keep my goddam mouth shut and not say I told you so? But of course what we’re talking about here is more than just “I told you so”. Victim blaming is really making the whole thing sound like it’s totally his fault.

The thing is – and I’m speaking as a mental health professional – it’s very easy for a person who’s been the victim of a serious assault to interpret things the wrong way. So on a personal level, when engaging with someone who has just recently been assaulted, it’s important to hear them out, listen to them, and validate their expressions of pain. Provide gentle encouragement, let them know they are safe and supported, and give them time to heal.

A typical person may not know to do all this. They may think it’s a teachable moment, and want to review what happened so they can suggest solutions. They’re seriously not trying to blame, they are only trying to help. Blaming is the furthest thing from their minds. But the victim is almost certainly not in a state to interpret it that way immediately after the assault.

Now there’s another side to this.

In the criminal justice system, a rape accusation must proceed through due process just like any and all other accusations. There must be evidence, there must be a claim, and the D.A.s office must issue a summons to all related parties. Each person at a trial is allowed to speak, and all evidence is held up to scrutiny. I will agree that we may be able to improve the experience for the victim at this point. What can we do? Maybe they can be absent during certain parts of the testimony, or when certain things are discussed? Maybe the victim can be cross examined in private and video recorded, so the defense can witness this part without actually having to be in the same room. Certainly we’re not going to suggest that court proceedings totally not happen at all, and the accused just automatically goes to jail.

The proceedings do need to happen, and the victim does need to be cross-examined. This is part of how the criminal justice system works, and how it works in all developed countries all across the world, with every crime brought before a judge or jury. But it’s very possible that the experience for the victim may somehow be improved.

Finally, as for a possible 3rd side to this, I am not aware of any media outlet, in any first world country, over the last 50 years, that has explicitly blamed victims of rape for being raped. It may be possible to hear unkind remarks from extremely uneducated idiots, but this not a “culture”. As discussed earlier, this is an example of anecdotal evidence being generalized to apply to greater statistic than can be known. If a person says they’ve been raped, that statement almost universally elicits sympathy from anyone within ear-range.

A newer post:

—– —–
Because of the overall sexism in rape culture, men do not get raped. That is, of course they get raped, but because of the way rape victims are seen by society, men who are raped are either ignored or labeled as sissy, or gay, or simply weak, in order to maintain the illusion that “men do not get raped”. And in the same vein, women cannot rape men. Men, society teaches, are always horny, always seeking the next conquest and always ready for sex. So how could they be raped? Because of these very attitudes, society is extremely slow to address, much less change, the way male rape victims are treated. The FBI did not even classify male rape as rape until 2012.[4] Women are also perceived as being incapable of raping other women, often because sex between two women is portrayed as ‘not real sex’. Woman on woman rape is also often not illegal, most notably in places where the definition of rape necessitates penetration by a penis. This is still true throughout most of the world, and until recently the US as well.
—– —–

^^^ I’ll concede this point. Rape against men, and sexual assault against men, are usually dismissed, downplayed, and not taken seriously. On top of that, false accusations are often more towards men as well.

However, men bear the burden on multiple issues due to the societal pressures given to their gender, so this is not limited to only rape. We will also need much more than this to prove there’s a “culture”.

An older post:

—– —–
White-washing the perpetrator. They can be direct excuses such as “He’s a man, she was leading him on, he couldn’t help it”, or more indirect ones, such as “if you don’t want to be prison raped, don’t go to prison”.
—– —–

^^^ This would be in the same vein as questions like “what was she wearing”, and statements like “she was asking for it!”

Regarding those two statements – “what was she wearing” and “she was asking for it”, I’ve lived in different countries, 7 states, and traveled through and lived in perhaps two dozen different cities. I’ve never heard anyone say either of these, and no one I know has heard anyone ever say either of these.

But I won’t use my own personal experience as proof. I stated this earlier, and I’ll state it again, since this is a frequent go-to point for 3rd Wavers and is worth repeating. This is a challenge that anyone is invited to participate in.

I ask if anyone can find one single instance, in any mainstream media broadcast (print, radio, television, or internet), over the last 50 years, in any first world country, where rape was the topic, and the broadcaster endorsed the perspective expressed in either of those statements. I believe that would settle the question of whether or not such a view is acceptable by a public consensus.

To be extra clear, I’ve had this challenge answered a number of times by people showing me news stories were a single individual person was quoted as saying something to that affect. That’s not what I’m asking for. I’m asking for a portrayal of rape where the victim was blamed, or held responsible, in the ways previously described, and where the audience is expected to (and does) take it as acceptable.

Because the only time I have ever seen either statement broadcast in media, ironically… has been from 3rd wave feminist.

A newer post:

—– —–
Rape culture fosters the misconception that incidents of false or politically motivated rape accusations are common place, in order to create a cloud of doubt on all potential rapes. While there will always be some scumbags who make intentionally false accusations of any kind of crime, one gets the impression that false rape accusations get so much attention in order to preemptively shame into silence, victims who do not have ironclad cases. This can create a chilling effect on rape victims who don’t want to be accused of lying and/or be subject to the media circus afterwards.
—– —–

^^^ First, a “cloud of doubt” shouldn’t exist.

Everyone ever accused of any crime is always innocent until proven guilty.

Second, the reason false accusations from this particular crime is being talked about so much is because this particular crime is being talked about so much. The possibility of a false accusation goes along with all crimes. If everyone was talking about theft, then the topic of being wrongly accused of theft would reasonable see a congruent increase in popularity.

As far as “ironclad cases” go, that’s precisely what a felony charge requires; “proof beyond a reasonable doubt”. A misdemeanor charge is less serious, but requires only a “preponderance of the evidence”. All crimes in the criminal justice system follow this criteria. [Update: January 12th, 2016 – it seems I misspoke on this point.  As Jeffrey Deutsch points out, a misdemeanor also requires “proof beyond doubt”, and it’s civil cases that only require a preponderance.  Thanks for the correction!]

An older post:

—– —–
The downplay and ignoring of warning signs that often precede rape such as sexual harassment, sexual humiliation, non-coital sexual assault, such as unwanted breast or ass-grabbing, and the objectification and othering of victims by rape apologist.
—– —–

^^^ We’ve already covered objectification.

I clearly remember how in the 90s, a woman could claim harassment on any man, and he was out the door. Harassment wasn’t just taken seriously, it was taken over-the-goddam-top seriously. It usually required no proof – point the finger, give the H word, and the man you accused was fired.

Downplaying grabbing a woman’s breasts?

Do you. Have. Any idea. What an utter shitstorm would be unleashed. If you grabbed a woman’s breast in Wal-Mart, or TPI, or the building where I live? Or… well, anywhere else for that matter?

I remember after I had just started transitioning, and someone from the shelter saw me sitting at Powell’s Books. He came up behind me, put his hands around my shoulders, and whispered real loud in my ear “I WANT YOU!”

He was kicked out of the shelter after that. They put him on the streets where he was sleeping under a bridge in the rain.

Recently there was an incident in a restaurant near where I live, where I went in to use the restroom, and a few moments later, a male employee opened the door while I was inside, and shouted “ARE YOU A WOMAN?”

He never physically touched me. Just opening the door and saying that, would have made national headline news if I had pursued the offer for interviews at news agencies. Not one, but TWO civil rights organizations jumped all over this company. I had people from agencies all across town calling their corporate office and threatening lawsuits. I had attorneys wanting to contact me and offered to launch a case. It went on google plus and got some 30,000 hits. I actually started feeling bad for this company!!! This one incident was going to ruin them!!!

I remember a story that happened in Texas sometime back where a young man was a little “fresh” with a woman he was dating. A few hours later, 4 of her brothers show up at that young man’s door… and let’s just say he rearranged some of his values before the night was over… along with a few other things.

The idea that anything in regards to sexual assault against women is ever “downplayed” is just preposterous.

I will agree that if a woman grabs a man’s ass, then it would probably be downplayed, as sexual assault and violence against men very often is. But again, this is just another of the long list of disadvantages set against men, and isn’t only relegated to the idea of rape culture.

A newer post:

—– —–
In rape culture society, rapists are still seen as men with potential parental rights to children they conceived through raping a woman. 31 states still allow a convicted rapist to sue for custody of any children. In an environment like in the USA, where rape is being questioned as a legitimate reason for abortion, this issue becomes even more chilling.
—– —–

First, there is no law stating “rapist can have custody”. The law states men and women are both eligible for custody, and judges are allowed to determine who gets that custody based on the evidence at hand. The law does not lay down an exhaustive list of conditions under which a parent *cannot* sue for custody. It is, indeed, ambiguous in this sense, and arguably does rely too much on judicial ruling.

But this only means there are oversights. It is not indicative of any culture. The law also doesn’t say a parent addicted to heroin *cannot* have custody of children.

I do fully agree that there should be a federal law, extending over all states, that prevents convicted rapist from having custody of children.

I was not able to track down the source of this meme, but it's interesting to note that the only places I could find it are on 3rd Wave sites.  I wouldn't be surprised if a 3rd Waver created this only to help generate the image of rape culture.

I was not able to track down the source of this meme, but it’s interesting to note that the only places I could find it are on 3rd Wave sites. I wouldn’t be surprised if a 3rd Waver created this only to help generate the image of rape culture.

—– —–
Eroticization and romanticization of rape in popular culture, without showing the negative side effects or at least imploring a heavy degree of due diligence from the audience.
—– —–

Earlier, I asked for 1 single example of victim blaming in concern to rape.

Here, I’m sure we could find at least 1 example, perhaps in underground literature or in some obscure novel. But “popular culture”? As in, this is a reoccurring theme popularly encountered throughout mainstream books, TV shows, and movies?

Steven Segal can slaughter a team of highly trained ninjas with his bare hands. Chuck Norris can machine gun an entire village of bad guys. Al Pacino can snort a line of coke off a hooker’s ass. But you know what they can’t do?

Rape.

In movies, if you really, *really* want the audience to hate a bad guy – I mean hate him beyond all hope of redemption – all you have to do is imply he’s committed rape. Even implying that is enough. You *cannot* rape, and be anything but the most horrible villain ever. I also can’t offhand even recall a movie or TV series that dared to touch this topic without portraying the victim with the absolute most heavy-handed “due diligence” possible.

A newer post:

—– —–
Rape culture often uses rape as a subject of jokes, in ways not seen with similar crimes like murder. For example, memes such as ‘surprise sex!’ attempt to minimize rape, while at other times, rape apologia such as ‘If they orgasmed, it wasn’t rape’ are thrown around as ‘jokes’, where the fact that the speaker ‘obviously didn’t mean it’ (which the reader must simply assume) are the only reason not to take the statement at face value. However, actual rapists are liable to see these statements as signs that others agree with them, or even encouragement.
—– —–

First, I’ve already talked about jokes in a psychological context.

Second, murder and killing are joked about rather frequently, so it’s difficult to understand this comparison.

See: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPfwoCUQz7k – “50 ways to kill bin ladin”.

Would “50 ways to rape bin ladin” ever make it to youtube?

Third, rapists are rapists. Nearly every study made on this subject agrees. A typical person is bombarded with a slew of anti-rape messages (which wouldn’t happen if we lived in a society of rape culture), and is unlikely to rape. Rapist tend to make up a very small portion of the population, and are willing to rape regardless of what messages they hear. So not only do we have a lack of evidence suggesting that rapist will be more likely to rape from seeing / hearing jokes, all the evidence we do have says just the opposite.

An older post:

—– —–
The urban legend that women don’t want sex, and must be encouraged to have sex, played out in the old joke “No, don’t, stop!”… “no, don’t stop!”
—– —–

I don’t see where consent is ignored in this proposition.

As a woman, I don’t walk around wanting sex all the time either. I like it when a girl knows how to approach me, knows how to be interesting, then leave. If she does it right, I’ll be thinking of her, because she was awesome. If she *keeps* doing this right, then I’ll be thinking about sleeping with her, just like I would with a guy if I were straight.

Because men have testosterone, and an objective-oriented mindset, and their amygdala controls both sexual arousal and aggressive behavior, they’ve traditionally been the initiators of relationships, and are the ones that escalate. It’s the guy who comes to talk to me – and I can turn him away or reject him right on the spot (which I couldn’t do at a whim if women didn’t have the power of agency – its him who offers, and I who approve or don’t approve, not the other way around).

The guy has to watch carefully to see if I’m receptive, and has to continually prove his worth. If worthy, and if I give the signals that I accept, he can tentatively escalate by touching my hand, or finding a way to put his hand on my shoulder. If I pull away or react, then I’ve rejected him (which again I couldn’t do if it wasn’t me who’s calling the shots).

After he’s found that he can put his arm around me and I’m okay with it, he might try getting my number, or kissing me or, whatever else. At any time along the way I can still reject him.

This is basically how you encourage someone to have sex. You can’t encourage them by raping them, that’s ridiculous. These days, absolutely positively any assertion of interest by a white heterosexual male is called harassment right from the start. It’s hard to understand how men’s behavior is so tightly policed on such a routine basis, where you can’t look at a woman without it being male gaze; you can’t talk to a woman without it being harassment; you can’t ask for her number without it being a catcall; you can’t show kindness without it being sexism; yet still claim that, in the midst of all this, men are somehow encouraged to violate women.

A newer Post:

—– —–
Rape culture often uses threats of rape (real or just voiced) as a way to intimidate women into submission. This is especially prevalent on the internet.
—– —–

“Citations Needed”. What gets me is that Rational Wiki is not citing any source material or examples, something wikipedia does and gets criticized for anyway. Because you can’t just say something like this and have it considered under the authority of “just take my word for it”.

Also while we’re at it, who actually gets more harassing comments over the interwebs?

Who gets harassedOn average, men get more harassment than do women. Now comes the interesting question…

Who gets more upset by it?

Who's upset by harassmentThe social conditioning men experience tell them to just “deal with it”. And so they do.

It’s well established that you cannot threaten to rape a woman in Wal-Mart, Target, Burgerking, or anywhere else. If you try, your ass will be kicked across 10 different time zones. There’s no way in hell you could do that, while everyone standing around is just not taking notice because they’re all totally okay with it.

That might not be what the author means, but then the author is not providing any examples of what they mean. The statement is left intentionally vague so it’s malleable enough to fit into the suggested narrative.

“Especially prevalent on the internet” – my dear lad… shit dick nipples are prevalent on the internet. You know why?

Because the internet is a place that allows us to escape any and all societal norms. It’s has been called the new “wild frontier” – it’s a place where I can do absolutely anything, say things I could never say in real life, act completely immature, and explore behavior I could never get away with otherwise. I remember way long time ago on mIRC when I’d go into chatrooms and act like a total maniac. It was fun! I could act out any fantasy I pleased. I once pretended to be a terrorist, and had a friend go into a chatroom with me and talk about “setting up us a bomb”. It’s interesting – especially for young people – to try doing that.

Since the days of mIRC, the internet has become more civilized. We now create established online identities to use things like facebook, but mIRC is still around. People still go there for the anonymity to talk about outrageous things, or share stories they could only share on /b/. They don’t do this because they belong to some sort of culture. They do this on the internet because they *can’t* do it anywhere else, because it’s not acceptable anywhere else, because there is no such culture that allows it, or makes it permissible.

VSauce actually made a video on why we’re as curious as we are about such morbid things. You can see that video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbdMMI6ty0o

Once people get a chance to explore what lays beyond the boundaries, they tend to get bored, and go back to reality. Have you been on mIRC lately? Or /b/? Me neither.

A newer post

—– —–
Rape culture flourishes in societies where teens are not taught how to talk about sex and about what they each want. Paired with the above, this leads to instances where neither party is quite sure what the other wants and can lead directly to rape. Contrast this with an ideal situation where women are taught as young girls that it is ok to say no or yes, but be clear, and where boys are taught to only accept a strong yes as a yes.
—– —–

I like how this is stated. “I’m not quite sure what you want”… which can lead to me suddenly raping you.

I completely agree that more education is needed. For example, the author of this perhaps needs education to understand that social interactions are filled with nuances, and that human language does not operate on a robotic binary. It would be utterly silly if I had to say:

“Yes you can approach me”.

“Yes, you may now touch my hand.”

“Yes, you may now put your arm around me.”

“Yes, you may now put your hand on my leg.”

“No, you may not have my number. Not until you have proceeded to 404 FILE NOT FOUND.”

The “Yes means Yes” laws state that I literally have to do this. According to the law, I must continue to give my consent during sex every few minutes. I have to literally say “YES” out loud, to indicate “keep going”. My silence doesn’t work as implied consent. My girlfriend and I routinely break this law, which works out fine; because I’m a woman now, I’m almost virtually exempt from this accusation, and neither of us reconfirm consent “ongoing and throughout”.

It keeps coming back to me that this unbelievably over-the-top law got passed to protect women in a country where 0.1 to 0.4% experience rape at some point in their lives… where an oppressive patriarchy decided even that was too much, and passed this law, among others, specifically for women.

I firmly support the notion that our education system needs reform, as previously discussed. Kids should be taught virtues, ethics, and how to be a good person. Boys should learn how to be more socially confident and graceful. Girls should learn how to assert themselves and communicate clearly. Doing this would go a long way to resolving some of the ambiguity of dating, for sure.

A newer post

—– —–
Rape culture both informs and is informed by a society’s mixed messages about sex in the media and on tv. Women and girls should be pure and somehow above sex, and yet everything is sold to them through sex.
—– —–

Rape culture is defined as:

“. . . the ways in which a society trivializes, rationalizes, or even condones rape and other acts of sexual violence.”

How do these messages of sex “inform rape culture”? Sex =/= rape. One does not equal the other. I’m an adult. I like sex.

I’m being told that I’m giving myself “mixed messages” when I want to be pure and lady-like SOMETIMES, and dirty-sexual OTHER TIMES. If my personality is not one dimensional, then I’m mixed up.

Take a look at this:

Rape cultureIf I want to be held down by a guy with other people watching, it means I support rape culture and / or I’m a rape apologist.

Bullshit.

I can have these fantasies if I want. Pictures like this do not condone rape. There is nothing here saying “rape is okay”. The guy is on top of the girl – this is the way people generally have sex. The guy “has power” – yea, so what? If I were straight, I’d like that!! I do, occasionally, have fantasies where I’m with a very strong, dominate, masculine woman, who can hold me down and “make me hers”. I’d probably want that from a man, if I liked men. There is nothing in this picture which hints or indicates that consent is not being given.

Also, isn’t this how normal people normally have normal sex? With the guy on top of a girl?

Here’s another frequently cited example:

rape culture 2

The first impression I get from looking at this, is that it’s rather silly. I’m not sure why a guy is dressed

like that on the beach, or why he’s straddling a woman that way. Plus it looks awkwardly photoshopped. But regardless – once again, how is this rape? Rape is when you shove your dick into a woman’s vagina without her consent. Where’s the lack of consent in this pic? She’s calmly laying there. She has her glasses up, looking at him, clearly not panicked, which indicates that she probably knows him. Maybe he’s goofy like that and does this anytime he goes to get her drinks – which is another key point – HE’S getting HER drinks. He’s serving her while she relaxes. You have to start getting super theoretical and suggesting things like the man standing over her somehow symbolizes some sort of patriarchal “mandate” of dominance (even though he’s still the one serving her, and dressed extremely uncomfortable while doing it) – but then there’s nothing wrong with dominance either. I love being dominated SOMETIMES.

Here’s one more:

rape culture 3

I feel that these are extremely poor examples. They are NOT depicting rape, or anything even remotely rape-like. But I couldn’t find any better examples than these. These are supposedly “rape culture” in advertising, according to the sources I could find.

This is supposed to be part of an ad for something by Radio Shack. You know, if I had the body for it, I might like wearing something skimpy like that too on occasion. And yes, I’m a grown up. I know what sex is, and I’m able to find things sexually attractive. Of course the human brain is capable of compartmentalization, meaning I’m able to hold multiple ideas in my head simultaneously; I can see a woman as a potential intimate partner, and also as a lot of other things.

But all that aside for a moment – where’s the rape? Where’s the absence of consent?

By conflating absolutely everything related to, or involving, any form sexual innuendos as equal to “rape”, we’re doing a massive disservice to victims actually affected by rape. We’re diluting the seriousness of the crime. Rape is now a woman wearing silver panties. It’s now a man standing over a woman at the beach. It’s now a man on top of a woman (because something like that never ever happens unless it’s rape). This is part of what makes feminism one of the top 10 most annoying words in the English language today.

Nobody looks at pictures like these and thinks “Hmmm… well alright then! Time to go rape!” At no level, conscious or subconscious, does this happen, and we have no evidence that tells us

otherwise. The shy neck-bearded geek who was scared to approach girls before will be *just* as scared to approach girls after seeing pictures like this. His heart will race just the same when he tries to talk to a girl. He will risk feeling just as hurt if he’s rejected. He will be just as hopeful if she gives him the time of day, and will celebrate just the same if he somehow happens to get her number. He will still have fantasies of one day coming home from work and scooping her up into his arms, sharing dinner together, living the same life everyone wants to live.

We know how basic psychology works. It doesn’t work the way rape culture theory says it works.

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Instances of sexual harassment are often seen as a personal issue between a victim and her aggressor, even in a work environment. Sexual harassment is often portrayed as a hassle a company must deal with, to protect itself legally, rather than a real moral or ethical transgression.
—– —–

I’ve already addressed this for the most part, including what sexual harassment actually is, objectively speaking. We live in a culture where “God bless you” is sexual harassment. It has gotten so out of hand, that there is no possible way to consider this from a moral standpoint. Of course companies have a headache dealing with this.

Most mid-sized and large-sized companies now have a “sexual harassment” policy they refer to. They accommodate 3rd Waver philosophy by as much as possible by preventing any display that might ever even be possibly or imaginably construed as sexual in nature. Try bringing a mug to work that says “Life’s a Beach”. Most corporations don’t even allow THAT.

Also, sexual harassment usually does involve an element of personability between two people. What if I’m dating a guy, break up with him, and he wants to get back together with me? What if I reject him, but then I’m not sure because he seems kind of sweet? I’m allowed to change my mind. These are real life things that happen between adults. Not rape culture.

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Rape culture, like all other aspects of culture, impacts people on a subconscious level long before it becomes part of their conscious choices.
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There is no evidence of this. There are no studies of where “aspects of rape culture” got itself attached to a person’s subconscious and later made him act, like some kind of ticking time bomb, where he reacts as soon as he hears a CIA implanted code word.

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Rape culture is the result of thousands of years of human history which has defined women and their place in society. And it should be understood that way. Unfortunately, discussions about rape culture can make men feel cornered, attacked or defensive.
—– —–

The way an argument is presented can definitely make someone feel attacked; there’s no way I could have been oppressed for thousands of years, when I’m only 34 years old.

Most historians do not agree with the 3rd Waver narrative on women’s history, and I’ve already touched on this a number of times. Men’s place in history was just as defined, and by all accounts just as oppressive if not more so, than women’s. None of this contributes to “rape culture”, as we have not seen any evidence thus far that it even exists.

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Discussing or admitting that rape culture exists does not mean anyone believes men think rape is somehow a good or valued thing. Nor does it mean that someone is accusing you of being a rapist. Discussing the fact that in America, 27.2% of women have been sexually harassed and 18.3% have been raped, and 11.7% of men have been sexually harassed and 1.4% raped at least once in their lives does not mean anyone thinks that specifically men are more to blame.
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^^^ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJsozCS4hlE – this is from Hollaback. The young man at 1:02 says harassment includes things like going “Pssst”. If someone makes sounds with their mouth, it’s harassment.

We’ve already completely debunked the statistics presented here, but since we’re on the subject of deliberately inflated statistics and the workplace, here’s something else to consider.

See “sex and race discrimination”, found here: http://www.iwpr.org/publications/resources/consentdecree/consentdecrees .

How is sex discrimination in the workplace being measured? According to the website:

IWPR, in collaboration with The WAGE Project, Inc., examined consent decree remedies for sex and race discrimination in the workplace.”

And what is a “consent decree”, you ask?

Consent decrees are court approved settlements of law suits where the defendant does not admit guilt but agrees to the implementation of a set of measures to remedy and prevent future occurrence of potentially unlawful practices.”

So a woman doesn’t like the bikini calendar in someone’s cubical.

The company drops everything, throws their hands up, and agrees to go ahead and change something. Because that’s what oppressive patriarchies do.

And each time that happens… it’s still counted as an instance of sex discrimination.

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Debates in the US House attempting to articulate what a “legitimate” rape is, vs… well, we aren’t sure vs. what.
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The fact that this was so widely and universally lambasted as being completely outrageous and utterly ridiculous by almost absolutely everyone everywhere, for me, is perhaps the best indication that there is no rape culture anywhere, because nobody agrees with those ideas. No one supports this idea other than the religiously indoctrinated and completely out-of-touch politicians that were home-schooled all their life and make such incredibly ludicrous claims.

My position is that rape culture does not exist. The only points I would concede are that violence against men is trivialized, and men are treated unfairly in regards to rape, but this is a gender issue, as men are treated as disposable and shortchanged across the board, and not just where this subject is concerned.

Click here for part 5, where we’ll discuss why the myth of “rape culture” is so damaging, why it’s so hard to address, and what you would need if you still wanted to prove it exists somehow.

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5 thoughts on “A Response to Rape Culture, part 4 of 5

  1. Pingback: A Response to Rape Culture, part 3 of 5 | 4th Wave Feminism

  2. Pingback: A Response to Rape Culture, part 5 of 5 | 4th Wave Feminism

  3. Pingback: A Response to Rape Culture, part 3 of 5 – Unfiltered Conservatism

  4. Pingback: A Response to Rape Culture, part 5 of 5 – Unfiltered Conservatism

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